Please reblog if you feel like strangers sometimes try to manipulate you for selfish and personally debasing reasons.
Now, run into traffic on the busiest street you can find while buck-ass naked, heavily-oiled, wearing an elaborate wig made of shrimp- or pork-flavored ramen noodles, and dancing a spastic and deranged Hokey-Pokey as you hopelessly shriek, “I AM THE KWISATZ HADERACH!” to the tune of your favorite sea shanty.
Then, send all the information about your checking account to an exiled Nigerian prince, watch a full season of She’s the Boss, and put half of your clothes back on.
Do NOT, under any circumstances, wash off the oil for one month, or you’ll be cursed with seven years of bad luck and will instantly develop excruciating pus-filled butt shingles.
If you instantly develop excruciating pus-filled butt shingles, please re-reblog.
Thank you Jon Stewart for bringing this to my attention. The cows don’t even care!
Truck full of cows crashed (by Claudio P)
CBS won’t air this during this Sunday’s consumerist extravaganza with football breaks becuase it’s too harsh on two of their biggest sponsors: Coke and Pepsi. Which sucks, because it makes a great point.